


Soul

by moondrops



Category: Neon Genesis Evangelion, Rebuild of Evangelion | Evangelion: New Theatrical Edition
Genre: I really need to sleep, M/M, just 5 am thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-16
Updated: 2018-05-16
Packaged: 2019-05-07 19:16:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 479
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14677683
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/moondrops/pseuds/moondrops
Summary: kaworu and shinji talk about what makes up a soul





	Soul

**Author's Note:**

> it totally has nothing to do with adam and tabris [wink]

    “Hey, Shinji,” Kaworu said.

“Hmm?”

“What do you think makes up a soul?”

Shinji put his book down and looked up at the other boy, shielding his eyes from the sunbeams bouncing off his silver hair. “A soul? …That came out of nowhere.”

Kaworu nodded. “I know, but I’m curious on what you have to say about it.”

Kaworu’s eye had an air of wonder to them, somehow both lax and tense. The boy was always enigmatic like that though, asking or saying  mysterious things out of nowhere. Shinji glanced away. “Well… I’d say maybe your memories.”

“So that’s your answer,” Kaworu said quietly, plucking nearby grass. “Then what happens when someone forgets some things, here and there? Do you think that means they’re losing bits of themselves? Or what about when someone forgets everything, even who they are - would that mean their soul is gone?”

“When you say it like that, I guess it’s a bit harder to say,” Shinji admitted. What even started this conversation? “I wouldn’t say the soul is  _ completely _ gone, if they forgot everything. I mean, they’re still alive, right?”

“That means you think death ends the soul?”

“I suppose.”

“Then, if the soul ends along with the body, would you say the soul is the body?” Kaworu asked again.

“I wouldn’t say it’s the body itself either. Your body changes, right?” Shinji answered back.

“You don’t think a soul can change?” Kaworu returned.

“Hmm… No, I think a soul can change. But there are some people whose souls stay the same, even though their body changes.”

“That’s true.” Kaworu looked up at the sky.

“What about you then? What do you think makes up a soul?” Shinji asked curiously.

“I think a soul is… seen in our habits, our usual decisions. We may grow through new experiences presented from the outside and through new decisions that we are forced to make, whether for dire reasons or simply for our own interests.”

Kaworu turned to Shinji and smiled. “But, I do like your answer of memories. Without our memories, we’d probably make the same decision constantly, no matter how dangerous a situation may be.”

As he stood up, the tips of Kaworu’s hair and fingers began to fade. He looked over to Shinji. “Memories are held so dear to us, yet we forget so often. Shinji, can you promise me something?”

Shinji looked back at Kaworu. “Of course.”

“Promise me you won’t forget that I loved you.”

*******

Shinji opened his eyes, staring at the plain, white ceiling above him. Tears streamed down his face, ending in marks on his pillow. Summer sunlight streamed through the open window as the curtains flowed along with the passing breeze. Next to him was his nightstand, bare except for a single red poppy lying on top. Shinji turned to face the flower.

“I promise. I love you too.”

**Author's Note:**

> its like 5 am right now and i really gotta fix this sleep schedule of mine. anyways, heres something i wanted to write before i lost motivation lol, sorry it's so messy and probably full of holes (its 5 am). feel free to comment if u want ♥


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